Log in

No account? Create an account

Good Bye Chance

Today my dog Chance had to be put down. I won't go into the specific how's and why's as I have learned that it's best not to linger on the death but celebrate the life. He was a good dog, one of the best dogs I ever had and a sweet heart. Even when he died everyone commented on how good looking he was and how sweet he seemed to be. That was Chance a sweet, loveable dog and I did my very best to see that he didn't suffer.

So one day Chance I shall see you again until then pee on everything like you always did on the dog walks. Fart in that angel's face as you lie down and dream of me. One day soon I shall come through that bed room door and you'll be happy and we'll go on the longest walk together though all the weather just like we did in life. Cheers Chance you were the best.

A Happy 2015

Wow been a while since I posted here. I won't be making any promises as keeping a journal up or keeping people up to date on here. I'll post when and where I feel like it just fyi.

As for 2015 Happy New Year everyone, even though I am five days late. :) The new year is treating me rather nicely thus far. Much better than the craptastic start, middle, and end of 2014. Last couple of months I've gone to my therapist and gotten myself mentally back to a state of mind that I can say is pretty promising. I've learned about myself and others along the way and I hope that journey will continue. The past does not dictate me as much as the present does now. Boy what a present. Although Christmas was a bust, I got three friends to visit this weekend. Two had never visited before another was a couple of months in coming. I got them lobster as one was from Florida and the other from Iowa. Not many lobsters in a land locked state. I should add that lobster right now is cheaper than the once a week steak I treat myself to, might have to make an adjustment there *laughs*. Also got to introduced someone to snow for the first time in their lives. They say it's the simple things that count and as I stood there shoveling snow, hating the cold, snow, and winter season in the next coming months, there was someone who was quite gleefully shoveling snow. It made me realize even more that the things I take for granted are often times very special to other people. I was also reminded that although I can't get around as much as I would like, I am missed and people do want me around. That's the trouble with isolation makes you think no one cares when you could be completely wrong.

So the first 5 days of 2015 are off to a great start and it looks like things will continue to get better! :) Big changes will be coming for this year. Some I am honestly afraid to do but it has to be done. People are afraid of change, and heaven knows so do I. But change is inevitable and often as I have found out recently can lead to great and beautiful things. Things you never would think possible.

So happy New Year to everyone. Hope it's as good for you as it has been for me and if it isn't I hope it will get better for you! *hugs*

Poop Tweet , Poop Tweet

I have twitter and I got to say, it sucks balls...actually if it did indeed suck my balls I'd probably be pretty happy with it, but it doesn't so there. :pppppp Life is well going along. Where? When? Not sure sort of like being on the Titanic in a deep dense fog, you know the iceburg is out there some where and you are waiting for the moment to throw Jack and Rose overboard to cover the fact you killed them hours earlier. Why did you do this well for me it was:
1.) The whole king of the world bit
2.) Falling in love instantly even though you know shit about ones another.
3.) That song...that never ends, you know the Lampchop song...this is the song that never ends, it goes on and on...sorry.

Been in an artistic funk, seems no one wants to talk shop as it were so I do what I've always done, bury myself in house work.

Side note got yet another note on Fa from another friend of Leaping Gshep shocked to hear he plummeted, know what shocks me static electricity, gets me every time I get out of my car.

Feeling funky mentally and physically so going to take a shower and then stare into the void.

Hello and Again

That title reads better Vin GLaDOS' voice by the way. :) I've been in a funk and a rut, a funky rut, that should make it sound fun but its been a depressing and lonely rut. Solution, I went out and racked my yard. Sounds simple huh? Probably was until you add in I took Chance out so every 15 minutes I was sysytematically unwinding him from whatever object he managed to magically wrap the lkeash around. Yet on in a while he'd sit, or stand, wind blowing, a few leaves blowing past, he'd look damn majestic, and then he'd pee *laughs*

Those few hours spent out in the sun enjoying springs slow but steady advance helped greatly. Cleared my head and made me think. I had a long conversation with Jaden, a furry whom I hope to meet one day, and that helped too. How?

Who is Silvermane? Well who? No seriously I don't know, I haven't known for some time. A guy who likes wolves, werewolves, Dr. who, geeky stuff, and an obessuon with mud and quicksand, yes those things are correct. I fursuit, I draw, write but who IS Silvermane?

Still figuring that out, he is 37 years old, lonely but wants to love and be loved and if I ever find the One that person is in for a lot of love. Yeah I am kinky too so be warned future boyfriend, oh yeah and gay, no sense hiding that either. I care, about others, my reputation, what others think (perhaps too much), and that means I am sincere. I don't bullshit and will disrespect anyone that does. I am honest and expect honesty back.

These are the thinbgfs I have discovered so far but there is more, much more to answer. Who is Silvermane? I wish I knew but I am finding more about him and overall he's pretty decent, a work in progress, and someone I hope to respect, even if it is me.

Positive Thought of the Day: Sure I am single and alone but I can and do love and when I meet that some one special they better be prepared for lots of love.

The End of Furfright: Final Thoughts

In a more humorous vein every time I type that I envision hundreds of fursuiters fleeing a burning wreckage of a hotel in a disaster movie montage of epic proportions.

All joking aside the con has ended. For reasons that Belic and Princess K'gra wish to remain private and to themselves they decided that the "child" of theirs that was Furfright should come to an end. I know this decision was not made at all likely as Belic did indicate the intentions to continue it well beyond 2013. Yet here we are facing the fact that it is done. Now there are those saying that Furfright could have been simply handed over. No it couldn't have and here's why:

I was there when the thing started, it was Belic and K'gra who started it all. Found the camp ground later worked to get the hotel contracts, got the feel of the con even back in 2003 as something that was only going to be a one time only thing. Next thing you know people are asking for hotel information when it will be next, so on. Dive head first in they did and created the con. They put in long hours of work and made the what it was from code of conduct to wacky MCing we have all come to expect from Belic. Turn it over? To whom? What would those people do to the name Furfright? What if they changed it completely as the years go on into something Belic and K'gra wouldn't like? As someone who creates a lot of things I can relate that when you create something it's yours, you sort of don't want someone else mucking around with it. So here we are at the end.

But rather than rag on the why's, how's, and what if's why not focus on the positive things? Furfright got a dedication on the War Dogs monument for all the years we supported them, we brought together furs from not only across New England but across the planet, we met friends new and old. formed a tight knit community that sure is sad to see it end, but out of that community I am sure given enough time will come forth a new con. Will it be Furfright exactly? Hell no, nothing could replace it, nor do I think should anyone even attempt to try to be honest. Keep it special, keep it a fond memory of good things. People got married (hell I did) there, proposed to, made life long friends, and had the time of their lives. I keep hearing this all over the place how special Furfright was to them.

So for those of you who miss Furfright maybe now is the time not to be all sullen and play the blame game. That's a silly game to play. Why not instead use that energy, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start a new con down the road, give it what Furfright had, give it that spark of community, socialness, and purpose.

Finally don't forget those two who made it all possible. Princess K'gra and Belic, keep them in your thoughts and let them know your still around. They are going through a hard time but I am sure the community can give them the support they gave us these eleven years.Most of all don't forget to thank them for the awesome con they put together and maybe tell them why it was so important to you. Thanks :)

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! :)

I am apparently having a dinner alone. Decided unlike last year to go all out anyway and got a turkey with all the dinner stuff. There will be left overs is no one shows up, not sure if anyone will. So I am alone on Thanksgiving, could be worse, I could be dying, homeless, not have a job, and a billion other nasty things that spring to mind, if the worse I have to contend with is a dinner alone, well I'd say I was doing pretty good over all.


THE BOOK OF THE DEAD Mail In Dead Line is OCT. 15th!!!!

We've extended the deadline to give artists more than enough time to donate to the Book of the Dead in the hopes we can raise more donations and help some truly worthy organizations!

All art must be snail or emailed no later than Oct 15th!

It's Book of the Dead time! What is the Book of the Dead?

The Book of the Dead is a collection of art work that we auction off at

Furfright to help raise money for Furfright's charities, The United States War Dogs

Association (www.uswardogs.org) and The Animal Haven!

Let's see if we can beat the amount we raised last year! :)

BUT, for this to work we need your help!

The Charity Book of the Dead needs artwork and photography submissions!

The Book of the Dead is one of FurFright's many events that raises money for worthwhile charities. The book contains amazing original artwork and prints donated by a wide variety of talented artists, and is auctioned off at the end

of the convention. All money raised by its sale will go to the United States War Dogs Association (to help Military Working Dogs and the Soldiers and Civilians they protect) and The Animal Haven (a no-kill shelter that cares for abandoned animals and places them in loving homes).

Submission guidelines:

-- Halloween, War Dog, and Shelter/pet rescue-themed artwork (original or prints) and photography

preferred (though all subject matter is welcomed).

-- NO ADULT WORK! All submissions must be rated G to PG13

-- Pieces need to be 8.5 x 11 inches

-- Digital submissions should be high resolution so a high quality 8.5 x 11" print can be created.

Send submission to:


c/o Furfright

20 Harrisburg Ave.

Westbrook, ME USA 04092

Digital submission can be emailed to: silvermane1977@gmail.com

IF YOU ARE ATTENDING FURFRIGHT: Artwork and photography donations can be dropped off in the Charity Room to be included in the Book of the Dead.

And yes, there will be a BOOK of the DEAD ART JAM Friday at 9pm in the Atrium (look for the tables with signs)! :)

Favorite Non Werewolf Horror Films

Since Halloween is coming I got a list of my favorite must see horror films. I watch these every year they never get old.
Done in no real order of preference:

Night of the Living Dead (original): What can one say about the first zombie film where the dead just pop up and rampage the country side? Sure here's a black dude and the social commentary could be there but Romaro just shrugs it off as a horror film and it is that. I dare anyone to watch this with this lights off, alone in a room and NO be slightly creeped out. :)

Dracula: Prince of Darkness: Sure Horror of Dracula was Christopher Lee's first take on the character and this one is sadly missing Peter Crushing but Lee's silent (he only hisses once) presence in the film is perfected. The set design is flawless and there's a definite air of damnation that's missing from Horror. You get the idea that Dracula is just evil, EVVVVILLL. The music is pretty epic too.

Masque of the Red Death: If I am to put Christopher Lee on here I should put a Vincent Price and there's only one that I think is really creepy and it's this one. Price is a devil worshiping prince of a country side he dominates and what he gets in the end is not what he or the viewer would expect. Sure it's Roger Corman but it's Corman at his cinematic best!

Legend of Hell House: Roddy McDowall, sure that'd be enough for ANYONE but throw him and a small but very capable cast of characters into a very creepy haunted house and it's supernatural GOLD! Down side is the ending, it's a bit of a let down but never  the less brilliant. Ok the fake cat is a bit much but the rest is pretty well done.

Halloween (original): In my view there is only one slasher film and this is it. To call it a slasher film is pretty lame, there's no blood or gore, or torture porn. It's simple, errie, Michael Myers is simply an evil dude trying to kill teenagers for no reason so it seems. In fact we don't even get a hint to why he is doing this beyond it's just what he does and is hanging out in his old home which probably is what makes is work.

Salem's Lot (original with David Soul): Where Dracula Prince of Darkness is a gothic classic, this is down right nightmare fuel. When I first watched this mini series as a kid I literarly had nightmares for a week. From the super creepy looking Marston House, to the build up of a vampire invasion of a small town in Maine, to the eventual arrival of Barlow, who single handly wins the ugliest and scariest looking vampire ever, the series just pulls you in. It's made for tv but don't let that fool you it probably is the scariest vampire film ever.

Hellraiser: You think Clive Barker does acid? Maybe. One trip to a BDSM club and he comes up with this. Wow. Most people just come out chaffed or with herpes, Clive Barker came out with a vision of hell and the afterlife that is so over the top it's awesome to see. Pinhead as the main villain works, he's cruel yet can do the sweet talk. Sure the effects are horribly dated but still the concept is sound and the visuals are definitely disturbing but in a way Hostel, Saw, and others to come would only wish they could do.

Honorable Mentions: The Thing From Another World (both versions), Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), The Omen (original), and for Brun Student Bodies

Feelings Suck

Lately I've been feeling very very down. Sad to say the depressed Silvermane is back. I don't know why but I have pretty strange thoughts. I seem to be asked to work around everyone's schedule of late but no one really asks about my own, not that I have much going on and that certainly could play into it, but I try to go out and do things but no one seems interested in what I am doing which leads immediately back to a feeling of isolation. I also feel bad for anyone I visit because it's usually a long ass drive to anywhere and by the time I am down at some one's place I don't feel very energetic as I usually am, driving taxes you when traffic is endless. Added to this is a lack of local knowledge of what to do where in a host asks me what I want to do and I honestly don't know. As much as I don't like feeling like being used, I often feel like the only thing I can contribute to anyone's life is giving or getting work done for them. I am not sure if that is even healthy because in the end it makes me feel like I am just there as a labor force. I know this isn't true but it's what I feel.

Just been feeling very isolated of late that every thing is just so far away and there's no one there for Silvermane at home other than a dog, which is nice but I am a human being I do need human interaction as well. Just really wondering where and when my life turned so poopy.
Sunday night I am working on art work, plugging away rather nicely on a werewolf piece, when boom. Computer goes black. Ok, odd, trying powering up, and it doesn't even get to the BIOS screen and just shuts down, called up Tawny and he suggested letting it cool down and take the case off do an inspection. This is where it all gets interesting. Take off the side panel and out pops the whole entire fan and aluminum housing for the processor fan. Apparently a plastic clip that held it to the processor broke and the fan housing came free. Good news is the computer did what it was suppose to do, shut down when the processor over heated. Easy fix, luckily Tawny had a spare mother board and came over last night to install everything. Everything seemed to be going well until we connected the internet.

For whatever reason Windows XP insists the old internet card is still there and won't let the new card work, so I have internet but two cards (one that doesn't exist and one that does) fighting over each other. We tried several things including a wireless card and of course we found out XP is ultimately retarded. So end result is no internet at home. How have I been spending my mornings and evenings thus far? Reading, writing, some gaming, and oddly enough cleaning more feels so productive.

The fix is to get another hard drive and either install a new version of XP or a newer OS, keeping the old hard drive (which I use less than 50% of the memory) to keep all the files on it so there's no constant back up. If this works the bonus will be to save more stuff on the old hard drive and have a seperate drive for the OS. Another bonus is I now have a dual monitor set up which will make looking at reference pics so much easier than minimizing and maxiumixing windows every five seconds, instead I just need to set everything up like a book. :)

Many thanks to Tawny for helping this wolf out. I am good with hard ware but I suck with software, however I am learning a lot from all this. :) Lesson one: the more technology the more apt it is to all fail.



Latest Month

November 2015


RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner